Thursday, August 23, 2012

How to tell your kids you are splitting up | Phoenix Divorce Attorneys ...

It's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do as parents: tell your children that you are getting a divorce. Most parents spend days or even months trying to figure out the best way to tell their kids that they will be splitting. Recently, the Huffington Post featured an article laying out a step-by-step guide on how to do it right.

First, the article said both parents should talk with a child or family to get advice on how to tell your kids you're splitting up in the least painful way possible. It's very important for both parents to take part in the conversation, the article said, and the script should be planned ahead of time.

Next, the article said to pick a place to talk to your children that feels safe and does not involve friends or relatives. Be sensitive not to have "the talk" before a big test, holiday or birthday.

During the discussion, the article said to start with the positives. For example, discuss that you both love your children very much and want to keep things at home as similar as possible. The article said to be sure to tell the children that it is not their fault that you are getting a divorce.

The article also said to avoid assigning blame and to make it seem like the divorce was a joint decision, even if this isn't entirely true. Unfortunately, you're going to have to expect some tears, the article said. Even though you're not being intentionally hurtful, sometimes the truth hurts.

Following the discussion, the article said to expect questions from your children, and answer them honestly without assigning any blame. Finally, the article said that both parents should stay at the family home the night the news is broken, if at all possible. This will prevent a feeling of abandonment.

These are all good tips for parents grappling with how to tell their kids they are getting divorced. For more advice, talk to a family therapist or your divorce lawyer.

Source: Huffington Post, "How To Tell Your Children About Divorce In Ten Steps," Natalie Gregg, Aug. 23, 2012

Source: http://www.divorcelawyerphoenixaz.com/2012/08/how-to-tell-your-kids-you-are-splitting-up.shtml

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